Wednesday, September 30, 2009

New Age Imperialism

The word imperialism is defined by Britannica as "a policy, practice, or advocacy of extending power and dominion, by gaining political and economic control of other areas." It always involves the use of power and is considered morally reprehensible because of its historically violent and selfish nature. It's always been interesting to me that the United States as a nation has always been in everyone's business. It's never for a random reason like our government giving France a pat on the back just to say “we see you guys over there…good job…and we still like you just because”. It's always political and most times good 'ole Politics has its "life partner", Capitalism, straggling close behind.

Honestly I'm not really big on politics but recently I was in a Dollar General and passed the magazine rack only to see Katherine Heigl on the cover with her brand new baby daughter. Believe me; I am not trying to blast Katherine Heigl for adopting. The fact that she adopted a special needs child is particularly endearing; however, it struck me as odd that once again, an American celebrity is doing the Brangelina Twist and dancing their way over to some other country to "liberate" the poor inhabitants. When I pointed it out to my boyfriend, he simply replied, “It’s because [we] are imperialistic by nature.” But are we really that determined to rule the world that we on some level of consciousness are buying up its children and imposing our own systems on them?

Every year Americans make the trek to Asia, Africa, and South America...anywhere but the USA to find an exotic new pet (excuse me....child). I just don't understand why our own people skip all the orphaned children in America to adopt elsewhere. The words are I'm helping these poor people who haven't got a cent. All they need in exchange for this precious life is a few bucks." Sure the going rate for a kid is pretty steep but it's a drop in the bucket for many of our Celebs. Ultimately the hidden perception is, “I give you the bucks [because I can] and you keep handing me your babies." It’s sad but you see television specials and all the older children have this look that reads, “I hope I’m not too old;” You know the age that most adopting families treat as personal cut-offs to avoid those that may be too damaged by society. Is the problem one in which we are too self- loathing and believe our own American children to be too polluted to bring into our homes or is the issue one of pity for those living in places abroad? Either way the practice is becoming a bit insulting when I see children in the USA that are under-privileged a just need a chance to survive.

In college, I read an article that asked the question: Are people in positions of power, who were previously lower to middle class, use their new money and power to liberate or dominate? Well, it seems to me that we are still making promises and exchanging them for a piece of the world's pie...only now the filling is cute little Hispanic, African and Asian children. We take these children from their native culture and replace it with our own superficial nonsense. Even when we do try to supplement the child's life with aspects of the child's original culture, we covet the child's acceptance of our own culture until it's all that matters. What we do in these seemingly harmless practices is imperialistic in nature; controlling to say the least. The unfortunately part is that we do it at the expense of our own abandoned children. Nothing is wrong with exploring the world and helping the masses; but when your own flock is left in the pasture it's time to do a little personal inventory.

♥ God Bless Katherine Heigl and family, this is no slight to you at all; but Brangelina...you are on my list!

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Good Intentions...FAILED!


I'm the kind of person that tries really hard to please the one I'm with. Whether I succeed or fail, it's important that my good intentions are noted and appreciated. Sure there are many good things that I bring to the table, but it's a sick sad acknowledgement that all the fuzzy warmth can be sent into frost-bitten exile by the fact that I'm quite possibly a narcoleptic.

According to
Wikipedia, Narcolepsy is a chronic sleep disorder that is characterized by excessive daytime sleepiness (EDS). Basically a person is extremely tired and falls asleep at inappropriate times, such as while at work or school, or in my case, in the middle of a perfectly awesome evening spending time with a significant other. A narcoleptic will most probably have trouble sleeping at night and have a weird daytime sleep pattern and simply think its insomnia. While there are several symptoms that characterize narcolepsy, Helpguide.org states that "two of the most common narcolepsy symptoms (excessive daytime sleepiness and cataplexy) seem to be connected to emotional state. People [like me] have these symptoms when they are experiencing intense emotions, such as laughter, sadness, surprise, or frustration."

Scientifically, narcoleptics lack the chemical hypocretin (also called orexin), which is released in the brain to activate arousal and regulate sleep. According to Tina de Benedictis, Ph.D of Healthguide.org, the neurons that secrete hypocretin (Hcrt cells) are low and eliminate the ability to control alertness. Doctors are working on a treatment and while there are support groups, waiting for said treatment could cost me my relationship.

So there it is; I'm always on an emotional rollercoaster with no brakes and my body is calling it quits. I don't want to be considered to be a jerk who has no compassion for the feelings of others; but what can I do when I can't control my mid-convo sleep habits. Seriously, it’s embarrassing and gives the impression that I just don't care enough to stay awake. Do I go to the doctor and get a letter of diagnosis? Do I place the letter on my wall like a psych doctor for all to see as a disclaimer? Would it matter that I had good intentions to keep my eyes open? Considering I always fall asleep, no matter what time, it seems that I have no interest at all in the topic of conversation or the activity. SO NOT TRUE, BTW! I only know that I'm sending the wrong message in my relationship.

Truth be told, I've always been exceptionally sleepy. Wow, I say it like it's a gift or mutation; like some X-Men character: "Narco Girl"...falls asleep with a single nod...

I'm generally fighting the fatigue so I'm completely unaware that I'm asleep until I awake hours later to discover that I'm alone and he's pissed. It's unfortunate, but I'm working on it. I've tried coffee and taking naps through the day in order to stay up late and have quality time to spend; however, I only end up jittery and cranky- no state to be in on a date. The worse thing is that I've even fallen asleep while driving… many times. I am convinced that I have a guardian angel watching over me. Too bad my angel doesn't wake me up when I'm watching "Wanted" with my boyfriend and my face is in the popcorn bowl.

I guess I'm doomed until a non-zombie forming supplement is developed but until then I hope my mate knows that my intentions dwell in the most alert places. If I could pry my eyes open with tape or toothpicks I would. Ok, maybe I wouldn't go that far...but I would at least stay awake to hear his funny stories and be engaged until we mutually agree to part.

This is Narco Girl...signing out ♥

Travelbug

Lately I've been feeling so sick of home and my humdrum life in Atlanta. It's true that I'm a recording artist and I've had many opportunities to be a world class jet-setter; but I'm also a mom and 9 out of 10 I'm the mom that's staying home. I know Britney Spears and Madonna do it but crappin' cupcakes...I'm not either of those women. Sure I'm taking care of home but it would be nice to get away. Work...play... a combination of the two would suffice but when it's at my own expense the reigns are pulled a bit tightly.

I started combing over ideas to get some extra travel bucks so that I can take a nice vacation. Here are my top 10 ideas to raise extra funds:



10. Crash Test "dummy"

9. Take it back to middleschool '96 and mow lawns

8. Sell Blood

7. Medical research

6. Shake a lil sumn' down at the senior center

5. World's Finest Chocolate salesman (note to self: don't eat you own product)

4. Make macaroni art to sell at Lil 5 points

3. Market research participant (bring on the taste tests ☺)

2. Indie Film extra

1. Human Directional <=============================== If all else fails, I can always contact the nasty freak from Craigslist that's been seeking dirty ladies panties...though mine are pretty fresh, he is paying $20 a pop! ☺ With hard work and a little hustle, I'll have plenty of cash flowing soon and can be far away... sitting poolside, sipping piña coladas.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Eat Mor Tofu?!?

I'm sure the Chick-fil-A cows would be more than relieved to know that I've recently decided to kick the beef out of my diet. I'm sure that founder S. Truett Cathy would be less than pleased to know that I'm kicking the chicken habit too--well chicken, fish, and pretty much anything that could have looked at me at some point in its life. After reading chapter 6 of the New York Times Bestseller, Skinny Bitch entitled "You Are What You Eat", I decided that the senseless and inhumane slaughtering of animals is against my personal beliefs. I also realized how much I agreed with authors, Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin that you inherit many of the emotions of the animals.

In this chapter, testimonies from real slaughterhouse workers are listed graphically and spare no detail; accounts range from dragging and skinning conscious cows to sodomizing hogs with electric probes. In short, they proposed that the emotional distress [not to mention physical sickness] that is built up in those poor animals during the killing process is quite possibly transfered to consumers. This bad energy can be responsible for much more than just heartburn and an occasional upset stomach. Try anger, hostility, and fear... talk about your MAD COW DISEASE!!! Freedman and Barnouin also cite scientific studies that found pain relieving chemicals in fish. By now you're probably asking yourself why fish need their own brand of Tylenol? Well, why do humans need meds? Clearly it points to the ability to feel pain. So give the fish a break too.

Since reading the testimonies in Skinny Bitch, which are absolutely disgusting, I attempted to quit cold turkey and had to back up. I swiftly realized that becoming a vegetarian or vegan is a process. Even though I now picture tormented chickens going down the line, I know that it takes time to get years of a carnivore's mind and habits out of my system. My slow-starter plan is no pork or beef and maybe an occasional chicken or fish meal, hopefully mom won't make her famous roast. Once I get there I'll probably turn to tofu as a great alternative.

I tried a few recipes from the book as well as one particularly yummy way to cook pan-fried soy protein provided by
http://blog.vegcooking.com/:





Pan-Fried Tofu

1 16-oz. pkg. firm tofu

2 Tbsp. vegetable oil

1 Tbsp. soy sauce

1 clove garlic, minced

•Remove the tofu from the packaging, drain, pat dry, and cut into 1/2-inch squares.
•Place a medium sauté pan or wok over medium-high heat and add 2 tablespoonfuls of oil.
•Add the tofu and cook until golden brown, about 15 minutes. Be sure to turn or toss often.
•Once cooked, add the soy sauce, then toss to coat. Add the garlic and cook for 30 seconds, stirring often.

Makes 4 servings
____________________________________________________
I think it's particularly important to add the need to eat fresh fruits and vegetables and leave the canned products alone. Who needs all those preservatives and additives?!? No one who values their health :)

So, now you have a perfectly PETA friendly meal that you can enjoy while exercising a good conscience and good health sense.

Six Weeks to Life



I was inspired to start blogging recently after an intense breakdown in front of my longtime boyfriend's mother over whether I was happy or not. I decided to repair my broken self-image long before the exchange but never really committed to it. Just to make it all clear, it went a bit like this...

Mrs. W saw me crying in the car and asked sweetly if I was fine, I replied through tears and snot, "I'm fine". Clearly I wasn't; plus it was the third or fourth time that she had seen me suppressing moments of intense emotion. At first she left it alone but when she saw my boyfriend and I tiptoeing around one another, she gave us both a telling glare and I knew I was figured out.

It’s true that he and I had broken up the night before but it was deeper than a simple breakup; there were reasons hidden inside of me that kept me from opening up to him prior to our falling out. The issues that festered in me were destroying all of my personal relationships and many of my professional dealings as well. My darling boyfriend was caught up in a windstorm of my mess and he had always told me to fight for our relationship. But how was I going to “woman-up” and fight for us when I had not yet learned to fight for myself? It was as if she looked in my eyes and my fears and desires all poured out of the back of my head…

I already knew what was wrong but I was simply not ready to face it; lucky for me and my relationship, she had an approach that was both straight-forward and nurturing, like only an experienced mother could deliver. A few of my issues were as follows:
  • I was bitter because I’ve packed on some extra pounds so I suffer from an acute case of “fat-brain”.

  • My parents…I’ll leave it here for now


  • I'm struggling to care for my 4 year old without much needed assistance from his father.


  • I work extremely hard but I’m technically unemployed, so I’m always broke.


  • I have really bad health and no insurance; doctors have stated that with fewer pounds and less stress would be nonexistent, but still it’s BAD!


  • Lately my emotional status has been on hyper-drive since “Aunt Flow” came for an extra long stay.


  • My boyfriend decided that my busy schedule and my defeatist attitude as of late did not equal success for us, so we broke everything off.

    Oh the pain…or rather, I’m a pain to everyone else. When I write is all down it seems small but like most women in the world, I do "
    sweat the small stuff”, even though I know I shouldn’t. In turn, the small stuff has turned into a whirlwind of sick, sad, self-pity that I’m now on a mission to rectify. Nothing worth doing develops fully over night. After all, much of my negative thinking and bad habits took years to develop; but I'm taking 6 weeks to come up with a plan for success.

    So here I am shoveling my heart out to the world in hopes of repairing my mind and my spirit and learning to love myself again. I’ll be embarking on a journey of self improvement; one filled with culture, music, healthy and fit living, and love. I hope that through my experiences the world will learn more of whom I am and I can learn more of the world.

    There it is…six weeks of intense inner/outer beautification that with care and persistence will last a lifetime ♥